Catching Up!

I didn't know that it would be so hard to just be honest and say things just as they are. I guess I was brought up with the "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all!" --- And I really haven't had much that's NICE to say during the past weeks. And THAT is to my shame, isn't it?

Here, I've had good health, beautiful weather, all my needs supplied, a dog who worships the ground I walk on, a God who loves me, and air conditioning. What more could I ask for?????

But when you have finally admitted to yourself that you are a food addict and have a major problem with denying yourself ANYTHING that is edible, then there is a LOT you could ask for. In fact, it seems that as the weeks go by, the more foods you find that are low enough in calories to fit into the diet, the more it tastes like fodder. At first, I talked myself into liking cabbage, bean sprouts, alfalfa sprounts, and all the other sprouts. I told myself I liked the 0 calorie miracle noodles. And yes, there ARE 1001 ways to cook boneless, skinless, tasteless chicken breasts. I'm just so glad I have a sister who is honest like me. Most of our conversations lately have centered around the horrible plight of our diets, the fact that the scale is NOT rewarding our starvation efforts, and making daily lists of all the stuff we miss. Too bad we didn't have a tape recorder going. It would make a Number One Best Seller for anyone playing with the thought of going on a diet!

I did have my 3 month appointment with the oncologist who dared to bring up the subject of dieting. That was Friday, the 9th ---- 77 days after starting the diet. I did feel like a winner, having lost 31 pounds on my own WITHOUT the surgery he suggested. He did make a big deal about it, was very happy, encouraged me on, blah, blah blah. . . . . but I did tell him that he had slipped to the very bottom of my list of people I liked!!!!! He didn't seem to care at all.

31 pounds. . . . NOT ONCE during those 77 days did I cheat. NOT A MORSEL! I really had expected to lose more than that, but I'm resigned now into believing that thing that "the older you get, the harder it is to lose." But I want you to know that when I left that doctor's office, I headed straight to the meat market and picked out the best looking rib eye steaks and had a feast that night. Baked potato, asparagus, cauliflour and steak! My reward for myself.

So now comes the next goal. I have to have another 3 month goal. I'm thinking that the next 30 pounds will be harder, holidays in the middle of it all, etc. But I'm still going to aim for 30.

As much as I have complained, kicked, and bucked the whole diet system, I must say, this has been very good for me. It has taken my mind off of the cancer, the thoughts of death and dying, how I might die, what if it comes back, and all that goes with the breast cancer thing. It was one thing to be "done" with treatments on April 15th.
And people do treat you like it's all "done." But I found the same thing happening to ME as with so many others. It's NEVER "done." It's always there. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see the disfigured, burn scarred, stitched scarred one-breasted chest. When I take a shower, I feel that numb, boney rib where a breast once was. When I try to shave under my arm, I can't feel anything as the nerves are all numb.
My hair is not the same, my face fell, my teeth rotted, my eyes got worse, etc., ---- all reminding me daily of the price of breast cancer. To say nothing of the pill. Every single day for the rest of my life I take the pill that causes the sweats. And these are the MEGA sized sweats!!!!!!! So no, it's never "all done."

But I say all that to say this, dieting has given me something else to think about besides cancer. Not sure that the exchange is the best, but at least it is a step up from death and dying of cancer!!!!!! Meal planning, calorie counting, counting my steps as I walk, walking through the grocery store like a hungry cougar telling myself I deserve ANYTHING, no matter what the price, if it fits into this diet plan. It's gotten to be like treasure hunt, believe me.

I keep visualizing the 31 pounds I've lost. That's 124 sticks of butter!!!!!! Yes, I still drool at the thought of a big, greasy, pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, but I've stopped roaring! Buster and I look forward to a few honey nut cheerios at night now . . . . . a looooooong way from the bowls of ice cream we used to have together . . . . . . .!!!!!!!!!

I'm an Addict!!!!

I guess a lot of you have wondered where in the world I've been during the past 5 weeks or so!!!! I think "stewing" would be the best word I can think of. Just stewing in my own pot of shame, guilt, anger, resentment, remorse, wishful thinking, bargaining, trade-off's, and whatever else goese with trying to "fix" myself up!

I had to face the truth: I am addicted to food. Not the usual addiction that people have to a chocolate bar, or some sweets now and then. This is a major, can't-live-with-out-it, I might just die, type of addiction. And let's face it ---- who in all of blogland wants to hear about the diet whinings of an old lady who, at 61 years old, STILL can't put down her fork, push away from the table and say, "That's enough, you fat slob!"

Most people diet quietly. After a month or so, you begin to notice something is different and you have to ASK them if they are dieting, and they quietly tell you, yes, and leave it at that. They are pleased you noticed but it is not the topic of their life. ME????? THE WHOLE WORLD knows I'm on a diet. I'm going down kicking and screaming. I'm NOT a happy camper. I think even the people in the grocery store know and dread my scowling face as I stomp through the store.

You can talk all about the health benefits, how much better I'll feel, how happy my heart will be with less weight, how my joints will feel better, my blood pressure will go down, how I'm a prime candidate for diabetes, etc., etc. You can tell me HOW to diet -- less carbs, vegetarian, low fat, low calories, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, MediFast, OptiFast, etc., etc. Been there, done them all, failed at everything. Let's face it -- I CRAVE pizza, bread, butter, red meat, tacos, noodles, and more bread! It's more than crave. I don't think there's a word for it --- except addiction. I think about it day and night. I WANT it all the time.

I've tried telling myself all these diet meals are great. Want to know the truth????? They stink! Downright terrible. Even Buster has given up sitting at the table with me. Pretty bad when HE would rather his Pedigree kibbles than my . . . . . slop!

But guess what????? This is the honest truth! I HAVE NOT CHEATED ONCE!!!!! I have stuck to this as if my life depended on it. I can't believe that an oncologist would have such power over me, that just saying, "Have you thought about a diet?" would throw my whole life into such an upheavel! I guess I knew I'd have to find a new doctor if I didn't do it.

My goal was to lose 35 pounds by October 9th! (My next dr. appointment). I've lost 24 so far. Don't think I'll make it. Please understand that this is just a "short therm goal" as I have about 135 pounds to go yet! But I needed a short term goal --- one with possible and probable success. After that????. . . .!!!!! This, by far, has been the hardest thing I've ever done. And the most miserable! If there were a chemo treatment that would make you lose weight, I'd go through all of that again twice over rather than this horror.

If ANY of you knew how badly I want a pizza right now. . . . . . .!!!!!!!!!!!

Pluggin' Along!

It's been 10 days of cabbage soup. . . . and I've lost 10 pounds. Today, as I was cooking my THIRD huge kettle of soup, I wondered if I could eat it again and again. . . . and again. . . . and yet again!!!!!

But I must say, it hasn't been that bad, and I have NOT been hungry. I eat a bowl before my VERY light lunch and before my supper.

Some of you have thought that this was ALL I'm eating. NO WAY! I'm trying to eat a balanced diet but still stay at or under 800 calories a day. I don't exercise much. I'm totally out of shape since the cancer treatments. So I don't burn many calories in a day. I'm trying to walk a little each day so maybe I can build that up. But until then, I don't think I BURN many calories in a day!

I did one of those google searches for metabalic rate chart thingie, and I found one site with a calculator. You type in your age, weight, height, and how active you are, and it gives you an estimate of how many calories you burn in a day. Mine said 2400. So if I eat 800 calories in a day, that's a deficit of 1600 calories. It takes 3500 calories to make a pound. Doing the math, I should lose about 1 pound every 2 1/2 days. This is going to be slow going!!!!!

Don't you just HATE it when someone goes on a diet???? That's all they talk about. What they eat, what they don't eat, how hungry they are, how they feel, how their clothing fits, how everything they used to eat is now like a SIN, etc., etc. It just goes on and on and on. . . . . !!!!! As if we all didn't know. But here I am, doing it! It's all about FOOD!!!!!! And the SCALE!!!! It makes or breaks my whole day.
If only I could stay OFF THE SCALE! But it is what gives me the encouragement to stay ON the diet when it goes down!

Buster runs the yard a million times as I walk the sidewalk. He's slimming up really nice. I'm soooooo jealous!

Cabbage Soup!

A lot of you have asked me for the recipe for the cabbage soup I mentioned in the last post, so I thought I would post it here. In fact, there is a whole website dedicated to this "diet" that features the cabbage soup. If you are interested, you can go here:

http://www.cabbage-soup-diet.com/index.php

You can click on the soup recipe there.

I think this recipe and diets revolving around it have been around for a million years. I can remember when a group of us decided we would all try it, and we all had cabbage soup coming out of our ears! It worked, but after a while, I never wanted to see another bowl of that stuff!!!My recipe has evolved over the years to suite my tastes and to satisfy my hunger. I will have a bowl of this for lunch, then another bowl before my VERY low cal supper. I don't do the rest of the diet as outlined on that site. I'm just eating VERY low cal right now. Gotta get it off FAST as the days are going by before that dreaded Dr. visit!

And I have an awful confession to make. I even have to lose MORE than he knows because I leaned on the desk when I was weighed, so it looked like I weighed less than I really did. So. . . . . that didn't help me out any. With the outcome of the dr. visit being what it was, I would have been better off making myself look like I weighed MORE rather than less. I'm not even down to what my chart says, no less lost anything! I'm paying for my sin!

So here goes:

1 large head of cabbage (remove outer, tough leaves) chopped
3 or 4 yellow onions, chopped
LOTS of celery, chopped fine
2 peppers, chopped (yellow, green or red,)
8 carrots, peeled and sliced
2 large cans of diced tomatoes with juice (seasoned ones work well)
1 large jar of V-8 juice
2 envelopes Liptons beefy onion soup
Seasonings: (it's up to you!)
Sometimes I do taco seasonings, sometimes italian, sometimes just garlic, salt and pepper.
Add enough water to make it SOUP and not STEW! you might need a beef boullian or two.

That is the BASIC thing that I do. But from there, it's all what I have available and the time of the year. I have used yellow summer squash, zucchinni, a few green beans, etc. Any of the low cal, low carb veggies. I had a bag of frozen italian veggies and a bag of stir fry veggies, and I threw those in.

Also, you can change the whole flavor by using chicken stock, or chicken boullian, or the Liptons chicken onion soup.

If I have no ideas for supper and don't feel like cooking, I'll throw a few of those little frozen meatballs and a little bit of cooked pasta or rice in the soup and just have that.

I'm not saying this is the best soup in the world, but it sure is filling and about as low in calories as a soup can get (outside of just plain broth!), and that's what I need to get me through the day.

I've lost 5 pounds since Friday!!!!!!

Seems Like Forever!!!!

I have been so frustrated with Blogger the past few weeks. Am I the only one with problems???? I keep getting error messages with a diagnostic thingy to go through. Then, when I do that, it repeats again. Then, finally, I might see my own blog. Worse yet, when I go to all of YOUR blogs, I can't seem to see the posts most of the time. I get the title bar with your blog header, I get your "down the side" stuff with the links and pictures, but NO POSTS. Just blank pages. Then, miracles of miracles, one time out of a million, I get to read a blog, try to comment, and poof ---- it's gone!

Believe me, I have not been ignoring anyone. Just can't get to you! Have patience, as I'm working on it. Anyone else out there with this going on????? Seems to have started when Internet Explorer downloaded an update or something. Everything went haywire on my computer!

Since my last post, I've been doing fine here. HOT, but fine! Had a birthday last week, celebrated with a big, juicy steak, but decided to leave off the cake. I wanted to buy myself one of those sheet cakes and have them cover it completely with those icing roses. No writing, no blank spots ---- just LOTS of roses!!!! But when I came back to reality, I decided it wouldn't be worth the months it would take to get those roses off my hips again. And believe me, those hips don't need reenforcements at this time!

Now that I've brought up that subjebt of HIPS. . . .!!!!! I went to my oncologist this past Monday and it was NOT a happy visit! He was super nice ---- nicer than he usually is with his blunt, to the point, comments. This time, he was smiley, complimented me on how great I looked, etc. You have to know that up until this point, he has never mentioned my weight or chided me to lose, etc. But today, he leaned back in his chair, and asked THE question. . . . . "Have you ever considered surgery and the lap band procedure to help you lose the weight? I've heard great things and fantastic reports are coming in about the results with this!" I felt the big "L" being branded on my forehead (L stands for LOSER, if you didn't know!)

I didn't say much, but he then went on to tell me all the stuff I already knew . . . would help with the blood pressure, I'd feel so much better, I wouldn't have all the aches and pains in the joints, etc., etc. I've been down this road. Lost it all years ago. After gaining it all back, I just haven't had the energy, the will power, or that "I can do it" victorious feeling it takes to even start!!!!!

So. . . . he gets off that terrible subject, gets me on the exam table and starts poking and squishing. Then. . . . I made the mistake of asking the wrong question. I asked if I could get the port out any time soon. You know, that horrible thing they use to pump the chemo into you. I have to have it "flushed out" every 6 weeks so that blood clots don't form in it. That means a huge needle getting whacked into my chest, heperin pumped in there, then flushed out, etc., etc., every six weeks. I thought it was a legitimate question being that I'm done with chemo, wouldn't you think?

He sighs a big sigh, rubs his bald head, and says, "LOOK!!!" (I know that's trouble!)
"Let's face reality here. Given the severity and spread of your cancer, the long wait before you got treatment, we have to face the fact that it IS going to come back. Not IF, mind you! I don't know when, but it will come back. So you will need that port in there!"

What a reality check that was. All this time, I go to sleep with all the "what if's" going through my head. Now, it's no long what if, but rather WHEN!!!!! Doesn't help with the "Getting on with your life" idea that I'm supposed to be doing.

And it certainly doesn't help with the idea of a diet. Mind you, I'm the type of person that, if you say I can't do something, I'll die in the process of trying to prove you wrong! So. . . . now that this dr. thinks I can't do it on my own, I seem to have this "do or die" thing going on. It took a few days for me to work it up, but I'm now really into it. I went out and bought my trusty heads of cabbage for my No Fail cabbage diet soup and will eat that for three months, even if it kills me! It will be three months before I see this dr. again, and so help me. . . . .!!!!!!

So . . . . no cake, no steak, no homemade bread, no butter, no nothing!!!!!!

UPDATE FROM BUSTER: WHERE'S THE BEEF??????


You have to understand that Buster has ALWAYS sat at the table like this, ever since I got him at 7 weeks old! He doesn't drool, doesn't beg, doesn't whine. . . . doesn't even MOVE!!! But always waits patiently to see if there is ANYTHING left for him. No beef tonight, buddy! Cabbage soup did NOT interest him at all!

PET Scan results

Last Thursday, I finally went for my PET scan. It's always a nerve-wracking thing to do, believe me. Not because it's scarey or hurts, etc., ---- it's just that you dread hearing the results. And even that is strange, because you want the results immediately, if not sooner, but there is still that dread that you might hear the worst of the worst. But they won't tell you a thing!!! Not even a hint! Just lovely, smiling faces tht tell you, "Your doctor will call you if he needs to talk with you about your scan. Have a nice day!" And so you go home, wondering, praying for the best, dreading the worst, and again wondering where all that faith is. . . .!!!!

I've come to the place where I call breast cancer the "What If" disease! There are just way too many gray areas. Too many things left unanswered. Too many "wait and see" issues. Too many statistics. Every headache, pain, cramp, lump, bump, etc., becomes a "What if" and you feel more paranoid than you ever thought possible. Add to that, waiting for the test results to a PET scan is pure torture! It just shouldn't be! Supposedly, if they don't call, everything is OK and there's nothing to worry about. But then, the "What if's" start in: What if the Dr. didn't see that piece of paper and it's buried on his desk? What if someone forgot to call me? What if he's on vacation? And so, we're back to the "What if" game???? It got so bad that I actually thought that maybe he just isn't calling because I'll see him on the 20th anyways and then he'll give me the bad news that it's hopeless and there's nothing he can do for me! Now THAT is what I call stretching the imaginary scenerios to the limit, don't you think??????

So. . . Here it is Wednesday. I've been waiting since Thursday. Can I breathe yet?
I couldn't stand it this morning. I called the cancer center and asked. I just know that some gal answering the phone is going to get that huge rubber stamp out of her desk drawer today and the bright red ink pad and stamp on the cover of my chart, "HIGH MAINTENANCE PATIENT!!!!" You know, those patients that call constantly about everything from a runny nose to a stubbed toe! But I didn't care today. I just think the "No call if everything is ok" policy stinks!

So the gal on the other end of the phone says, "I'll pull your chart and have a nurse call you back with the results." It's been an hour. . . .. no call back yet!

Have you ever had a PET scan? I've often wondered how they come up with these things. The night before and the day of the scan, you can't eat or drink any carbs or suger, etc. 6 hours before the scan, nothing. Then, when you get there, they give you a shot of radioactive glucose. You wait for about 40 minutes to an hour for this to go through your system. Next, you lay on a plank, knees bent, arms over your head, and you go through an arch. I thought it was a tunnel at first, but it is open at each end and short enough that my head and/or feet were hanging out each end. Not as clostrophobic as you might think. The first pass through the "arch" is a CT scan that shows the skeletal system. This is fast. The second pass takes about 20 - 30 minutes. This one shows the rest of everything that's inside of you. The radioactive glucose has now circulated throughout your body, and cancer cells are grabbing onto the glucose because they are VERY hungry by now. So. . . if there is anything cancerious in your body, it will light up like a Christmas tree on the scan results.

I had my first PET scan back in February and nothing showed up then. I'm still sitting here wondering about this one. . . . ??????!!!!!!!

UPDATE!!! The Cancer Center just called to let me know that NOTHING showed up on the PET Scan! THANK YOU, LORD!!!! I wonder if I added up all the time I spent worrying about this in the past two weeks or so, how much time I actually wasted?????? To say NOTHING of how much I heaped on others with all my whining and worrying about all the "what if's!" Next time I start with all this and whine to ya'll, just tell me to stuff a sock in it, won't you????? Seriously, though, I do appreciate all your prayers for me. Thank you from the cockles of my heart!!!!! (When I was a kid, my pastor referred to "the cockles of his heart" and I always wondered what "cockles" were! Does anyone know????) I just Googled it, and if you really have to know, click here:
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-coc2.htm

An Old Farmer's Advice!

An Old Farmer's Advice:


* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. *

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.*

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.*

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.*

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.*

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.*

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.*

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.*

* Every path has a few puddles.*

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.*

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.*

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.*

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*

* Always drink upstream from the herd.*

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.*

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.*

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*

*Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*
--

Don't pick a fight with an old man.. If he is too old to fight,

he'll just kill you.



Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come and pull you out of the bind you've gotten yourself into!!!!!

Just to Let you Know!

So many of you have been asking me how I'm doing, and I so much appreciate all your concern and prayers. One of the greatest benefits about blogging that I never knew was there before is how many great friends I've made and how many have committed themselves to praying for me. I can't begin to tell you all how thankful I am for that and how encouraging it is to get your notes, etc. THANK YOU and big hugs to all of you!!!!!

I have been feeling really good the past few weeks. It is a strange thing -- after going through chemo, then surgery, then radiation, you forget what "good" really is. I thought I was feeling "good" after I got through chemo and that was done. Little did I know that "good" could be so much better!!!!

I just wish my hair would grow faster. I still look like a marine! And I'm so disappointed that it did not come back in curly. It is sooooooo straight. Poker straight!!!! My sister asked me what color it is. I was hoping for blond like I was when I was a kid, or at least a nice "old lady white" or all gray. Instead, I look like a squirrel. You know, that grayish, whitish, brownish thing with a few black hairs here and there, etc. It will need a lot of work, believe me, when it's long enough.

My only problem right now is a lump I found at the mastectomy site, just a little above the stitch line. It's about the size of a cherry. At first, I wondered if it was a rib, since it has only been recently that I could actually feel anything there. Before this, it was either swollen from the surgery, or so burned that I couldn't touch it. It's taken a while for all the swelling to go down, and now that it has, I found this crazy little cherry sized lump. I asked my Primary care Dr. about it, and she sent me for a chest x-ray. That report went to my oncologist, and I went in to see him yesterday. He's also puzzled by it and doesn't know what it is. So I'm lined up for a PET scan on July 2nd.

So once again, all those thoughts flood through my mind. All the "what if"s", the "I can't go through this again," the "what if it has spread," and all the rest just keep sneaking into my thoughts. I know you will all tell me not to think about it, but . . . . . you just can't help it. I've come to call cancer the "What If Disease." It seems to be the major thought process of anyone I know who has gone or is going through this. The trouble is, there is no answer to all those "what if's". I'm the first to tell other people not to worry, that most of it all doesn't happen anyways, etc., etc. But when it's ME, then it's a different story. I seem to allow myself all the "what if's!"

Today, the area is a little sore. That oncologist of mine is not a gentle soul! He goes at you like you are a two pound ball of bread dough and starts kneading, pushing, prodding, poking, squishing, squeezing, etc., until you feel your ribs are going to break. And when he starts under your armpits, or does a breast exam, you wonder if you will even have a breast left when he is through. Believe me, if that's how we are supposed to do a self-breast exam, NONE of us do it right! I'm sure that's why it's sore today. Every time he does this, I lay there on that exam table with my fist clenched, ready to sock him one. I haven't yet, but there may come a day when you will hear on the news about the first case in Florida where a doctor sues a patient for socking him in the face!!!!!

So. . . .don't know when the report will be back from the Pet scan. Usually it takes a few days. And since they don't call you if the scan is clear, you just wait and worry an appropriate amount of time and then figure everything is OK! I'll give it until the 9th of July, and then let my breath out!

Another Angel in my Life!

A few weeks ago, I posted about Teresa and the impact she has had on my life and the lives of other cancer patients at the Cancer Center.

Today, I'd like to introduce you to another "angel" I met some time ago -- Mary!

Mary is the owner of Stillwater Dog Training, more readily known in my house as "Bad Boy School." Those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning know all about this place, about Buster, my chocolate lab, and all the trials and tribulations he has put me through. I signed up for dog training classes with Mary, and let me tell you, I have never forgotten her.

First of all, she was just the nicest person you would ever want to meet. She put the class at ease, as we all felt we had the worst possible dog in the world and would definitely flunk out (I ended up winning that award!) It didn't surprise me at all when she closed that part of the class with prayer, and I knew she was someone who knew the Lord personally and really cared about us all. She took her job so seriously and wanted us all to succeed and make it through the trouble spots we had with our dogs.

I always felt at ease with Mary. She would always take time to answer my questions as I related my problems about Buster with her. It was such a dark time for me, as I was really thinking I would have to get rid of him if things didn't change. She encouraged me every single week, and I would go home and try again and put him through all the exercises and commands.

It didn't end well, as Buster became more stubborn, self-willed and defiant, and you will remember that I didn't go back for that last class. I felt like such a failure and wondered over the next few months if Buster and I would really make it.

I contacted Mary a few times after that, and she has always been helpful, encouraging, and just. . . . . so nice! And when I found out about my cancer and all the treatments coming my way, I had questions and doubts about Buster. She promised to pray for me and Buster and somehow, I knew she would!

Buster has come a long way. Maybe someone who didn't know him a year ago would raise an eyebrow and call him a wild maniac of a dog. But to me, he's an angel compared to what he was. And I owe it all to Mary, the techniques she taught me, and her prayers!

I remember those first few classes. . . . I had delusions of grandeur, thinking that I would love to be a dog trainer like Mary. She just loved her work, loved her dogs, gave so much to the community with Ruger, her work dog. You can read about her and Ruger

HERE!.

But I soon found out that dog training is definitely a gift from God! And I don't have it! Mary has chosen to share that gift with others by teaching us how to handle our dogs properly! But even further than that, she has trained her own dog to be a "sniffer", to work with police and law enforcement, and to be a rescue dog. She has given so much of herself! I know how much it has meant to ME during this past year to have Buster's slobbery kisses and his happy face around me ---- something I would NOT have had, believe me, if Mary had not helped me with all the behavioral issues!

Thank you, Mary, for all you do for so many people! I know I'm not the only one who has been impacted by your life and your talents!

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. . . Others come and stay awhile, encourage us, show us a way we never saw before, and somehow, we are never the same again.

Rainy Days and Mondays

No, they don't get me down --- in fact, I LOVE rainy days, and today is one of those. After such a long season of drought here in Florida, we are finally seeing a return to those daily showers, and sometimes --- just long, rainy days! Like today!

The day started out sunny, but it gradually got darker and darker as the gray clouds moved overhead. Then, I heard the drops hitting the exhaust fan thingy on the roof. And Buster and I headed for the back porch. He's not much for playing in the rain, but does love it when I go out and sit in the rocking chair, so he was all gung-ho!

It was one of those steady, hard rains, no wind, no thunder and lightening -- just rain coming straight down. I noticed all the leaves on the trees dancing as they got showered and washed. Puddles were forming fast, and the birdbath soon overflowed. A very large toad, afraid of rising flood waters, hopped across the lawn, through the fence and off to safer, higher ground.

And then it happened. . .

Buster was bored with it all, but for my sake, laid down on the porch and tried to act like he was enjoying the whole thing. All of a sudden, he was up like a shot ---- a squirrel was sitting on the sidewalk, wondering where to go to keep dry. I don't think he had a chance to decide as Buster was fast on his tail, telling him where to go. Up that tree he went, but I noticed he was smart enough to hang on the underside of a big limb which served as an umbrella. He was a little smarter than Buster who stood there in the pouring rain looking up the tree! Poor Buster! He just can't seem to catch one.



I'm always amazed at the birds during a storm. The whole time it was raining, I never saw or heard one bird. But it seems they just know when it's about over and begin to sing. There is nothing more beautiful than the choir of birds singing at the end of storm. Today, it was the wren who started off with the solo part. Then the woodpecker made it a duet. Wasn't long before the bluejay added a perky little tune, and then the flycatcher. Soon, the titmice, cardinals and others joined in. I always wonder how they seem to know when the end of the storm is near????

And you talk about making the best of a bad situation!!!! A pair of cardinals came out and perched in the cherry tree, then began rubbing up against the wet leaves. Definitely a very unique way to take a shower!



I always loved the song playing --- Rainy Days and Mondays. But they don't get me down. Today, it cheered me up! I came back inside, enjoyed a bowl of hot, homemade hamburger and veggie soup, and thanked the Lord for all His goodness towards me! Buster is laying next to me, soaking wet but dreaming of squirrels, and we are both waiting for the next rainy day to come our way!

Angels --- From a Child's Perspective

A friend sent me this in an email, and I thought it was just too precious!!!!!


Angels Explained By Children

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.

-Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it

-Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.

-Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.

-Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.

-Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!

-Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.

-Daniel, 9


When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.

-Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.

-Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.

-Jared, 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.

-Antonio, 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.

- , 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.

-Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.

-Sarah, 7

Mourning the Loss of a Great Friend!

It's just terrible!!!!! Totally unexpected and heart-breaking! I just sank into my chair and said, "NO!!!!! This just can't be happening to me!!!!"

You see, we had really just gotten to know each other. Up until a few months ago, we would see each other only once in a while, and I must confess, it was for selfish reasons only. It's only been recently that I realized how much this friend had to give and before this, was left out in the cold!

It's my bread machine!!!!! It died today. Very suddenly. And in the line of duty, of all things!!!!

I wanted pizza dough. I got out my recipe, dumped the junk in there, plopped the pan in the machine and set it on dough setting, and away it went. I've gotten to just love the sound as it starts up slowly --- mixing all the lovely junk in there -- and then revving up and slapping that dough around, making that beloved ball of dough.

But today. . . . in the middle of it all, it died. Just up and quit!

What in the world am I going to do????? I had just gotten to the point where I found out all this wonderful machine could do. I've made the best breads, learned about the dough only cycle, etc., etc. I know, I know!!!! I don't NEED bread. In fact, I don't need ANY bread, or pizza dough, or rolls, or butter, or jelly, or cream cheese, or anything else that goes with the word bread. But it's my all time favorite thing. . . . .!!!!!!!

Please just let me mourn the death of my friend. It's still sitting on my counter. I can't even move it.